I’m in my 11th year of business as a Virtual Assistant. I provide administrative support to volunteer boards of directors of nonprofit organizations. And, I’m in my fourth year of being a nonprofit startup consultant. I’m a very busy girl. I do client work appropriately 5-hours a day, 4-days a week, and I spend Fridays playing catch up on business development work for my businesses.

About two weeks ago, I got very very tired. Tired of networking. Tired of always looking for potential clients. Tired of not having enough money to just DO the things I WANT to do. So, I did what most people would, I started looking for a job. I’m a skilled administrative assistant with over 25 years of experience from the federal government, to private industry, and even some time at an association. Therefore, I submitted my resume for a few positions. And, I did what I do best, I told everyone what I was up to, so they could keep an eye out for possible jobs for me. Then talking to one dear friend, Desiree Waters (Le Design by DW), and it was all put in perspective for me. God has provided for our needs, and I’m anxious to have my wants met. WOW! That’s it! I want new floors. I want a newer car. I want vacations not staycations. I I I! Want Want Want!

So, for me, this is a huge discovery. I’m the person that landed our family in over $60,000 worth of credit card debt. Praise the Lord, it’s down to $17,000 now. But even that has been hard. I’ve had to be patient, sacrifice (not much, again praise God), and sometimes (while rarely) go with out. Now, I’m saying, “Look Lord, you are moving too slowly. I want a job so I can get the things that I want sooner.” How ungrateful of me. And, what a setup I was walking into. You know the minute I get a job, it will become all about the things I’ve done to make things better for my family.

I’m so very thankful that when God, by his mercy and grace, reveals to me my heart’s desire to be god of my life that I’m receptive. I don’t want to be god over my life. It’s not my blood that released me from my sins, and makes me righteous before the Almighty Judge. Revelation 1:5
and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To Him who loves us and released us from our sins by His blood—

I’m sure you’ve gathered by now that it is back to work I go! And I thank God for patient clients!

These words stand on their own, but my absolute favorite is the third stance (For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me). I pray these words are a comfort to all believers today. If yo are like me, and need the music, here you go!

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God

What an interesting first quarter to a very interesting year! 2011 is the Year of Opportunity, and just a quick recap of some of the opportunities that have been afforded me this first quarter:

* Spent time with Laura and her family as we witnessed her mom’s transition from life to death. It was the most intimate thing I’ve ever been a part of, and I thank Laura and her family for letting me be a part of this awesome moment for them.

* Received the second half of my 2008 tax audit bill (the state portion for $3100). This has been an interesting distraction, but a true reminder to me to trust God. The IRS bill was paid in full, but this one I will have to make payments; thus incurring interest and penalties. However, the upside is God is still in control!

* Unveiled my new community forum for Nonprofit Connectors. Several years ago I started Nonprofit Connectors, a consulting business to assist individuals/groups wanting to start a nonprofit organization by doing all the paperwork. I had a vision for this business that it would be a place that connected people, and now that vision has come to fruition. Be sure to check it out! The website has changed, and the logo has been given a facelift!

* Spent a week of quality time with my friend Thea! Thea and I were best friends in high school, through college, and most of life! We had a difference of opinion that broke up our friendship for 13 years. But God has shown me great grace and mercy by renewing our friendship. Sadly it was over Thea’s mom’s death that we reconnected (miss you Ret); but happily we’ve reconnected. God is so very gracious.

* Spending quality time with Ryan’s mom! I’ve loved Ryan’s parents from the beginning, and when his dad passed (February 1, 2011), it was a sad day. However, we rejoiced because we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that his dad was a born again believer! 1Thessalonians 4:13-18 reminds us to rejoice in a believer’s death!

* Then the best opportunity this year has afforded me (thus far), was spending an entire weekend getting to know my husband deeper and better! We attended our first, ever in 13 years, marriage workshop put on by our church, Capitol Hill Baptist Church. We talked about things we haven’t discussed since pre-martial counseling. So, it was like a kiss from God to spend this time with my husband getting to know him all over again. We’ve even decided to read a book together, “A Call to Spiritual Reformation: Priorities from Paul and His Prayers” by D. A. Carson, and then we’ll have book discussions.

Looking back on this first quarter, I’m excited about what God will do with the next quarter!

Sunday past, I was reminded of the following mealtime prayer:

God is Great, God is Good;
Let us thank Him for our food.
By His hands we all are fed,
Give us Lord our Daily Bread.

The preacher broke this pray down into simpler language.

God is GREAT – God is all surpassing! There’s nothing that compares to God. Nothing is as vast as God, as old as God, and since God is the ONLY non-created entity in this enormous universe that alone exhibits his GREATness!

God is GOOD. Some days I’m good, meaning I stayed on my food plan, and I exercised. Some days the weather is good, meaning it was sun shiny and warm. However, when the Bible says that God is good, it means ALL the time. God’s nature, his very being, is GOOD! God is good!

Then the rest of the prayer reminds us that apart from God (without God in our lives), we would have nothing. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

I thank God for bringing Ryan into my life. My husband’s love for me is evident every day! Just recently we decided to read a book together, and have discussions. Well, I’m out of town, and the book discussions start next week. Perfect time you would think to be able to read, but I’ve been preoccupied with hanging out with my friend, having uninterrupted TV (NCIS) time, and just playing/working on the computer time! No time for reading. Yet, faithfully every night, and gently without judgment or sarcasm Ryan asks, “So, have you been able to read?” I know he means our book, and not my Anne of Green Gables or Jane Eyre books I’ve started. And, every night for the last three nights I’ve replied, “Not yet!” (With attitude, because I feel convicted.)

It’s got to be hard to be called to lead, and your followers are wanting to go their own way. And, even still harder when the troop that you lead is just one person who insists on having control and doing it her way; thus, rebelling against your leadership.

Ryan, I don’t mean to do this, and I am so grateful to God that you are patient with me. Please don’t stop guiding our family, gently instructing me, consistently following up; in other words, don’t stop doing your job description just because I’ve strayed from mine. I’m reading Chapter 1 today! And, I look forward to having a great discussion with you about it next week, Lord willing!

I love you, Ryan!

This Sunday past, Thea and I visited  First Baptist of Micanopy just outside of Gainesville, FL. And the preacher’s text was Psalm 42 and 43. He had a full page outline, but I’ll sum up what I got from him message.

I have read Psalm 42:1, “As the deer pants for the streams of water; so, my hearts pants for you, my God.” I walked away with the simply understanding that David was pining after God. Yet, the preacher on Sunday helped me see that panting happens after long periods without. That deer running through the woods looking, searching for water. She needs the water to revive her; to get give her strength to keep running. Then I thought about when I start panting during my exercise programs, and how exhausted I feel, until I take that sip of water.

Ah! So, David was desperate. He was panting after God. His was LONELY.

The preacher went on to say that during this period (13 years exiled to avoid Saul, but after being anointed as God’s chosen King), David hid, he ran, and while he was surrounded by loyal soldiers he felt alone. People around him asked, “Where is your God?” I thought this was an interesting statement, because just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean I’m immune to hard times, disappointments, hurts, broken hearts, rejection, loneliness, sinful behavior. No!

It’s during these dark, darker, DARKEST times, as David expounds upon in these two Psalms, that we must TRUST that we are not alone, nor are we forsaken. God NEVER takes his eye off of EACH of us. However, (and I liked the way the preacher said this) there are times when God is silent. Silent! I know, what a concept.  Most of us live in noise. I’m surrounded by noise, what plays in my head, on my TV, on my iPod, and let’s not leave out the noise of my computer dinging and beeping always calling me to it. (Such a needy machine!) Yet, through it all God has never left. He’s there waiting through the darkness with us. This was very comforting to me, because I have had many friends lose a love one, and what they have often said is, “Thanks for just being here.” I haven’t done anything, I have nothing spectacular to say, but just my presence has helped sometimes.

It was reassuring for me to realize that as I go through some of the loneliest moments of my life, I am never ever alone. Thank you God!

PS: Thank you the congregation of First Baptist Micanopy for reminding me that wherever Christian’s are gathered I have automatic family present! I enjoyed meeting each of you, and while our paths may never cross again here, I look forward to being neighbors with you for eternity!

I am reading Donald Whitney’s Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health, and the first question is do you thirst after God. This made me think more on the illustration that he used (that everyone uses) that we all have a God-shaped vacuum in our heart, and it draws us to God.

Then I started thinking on Genesis 1:27 that says God made us in his own image. Most parents love hearing that their baby looks like them. “She has her dad’s mouth, and your eyes!” And, it is true, even adopted babies start to take on the characteristics of their loving parents, and then you have people telling you that they can see you in your baby’s face. How absolutely precious a remark to receive! That’s exactly what I realized this morning during my quiet time meditation, how precious to have a God that loves us so much that he wanted us to have his image.

Then the tough thoughts came. It’s not enough to just look like him, but he requires us to be like him. In Matthew 5:23, we are commanded to be perfect. I know that I have people in my life who demand perfection as well. They don’t usually care how you get the perfect result (e.g.: cut a corner, take from something else, hide the mess, etc.); they just want it! Well, God does care. He cares about the how, when, where, why, who, and the what.

Then this thought took me down the path of thinking of people who I know and love who thirst after other more tangible positive loving things like knowledge, wisdom, peace, love, and happiness to fill that God shaped vacuum. Then I clearly see how we all can say that the paths we have chosen will lead us each to God. And, I agree with you on that point. We will each meet God at the end of our path on this side of heaven. And when you meet him, will you meet him as a friend or as enemy? Will you meet him having lived the life he commanded, or have you lived a life full of self-gratification?

Wow, this was just my meditation from the first few pages of chapter 1, what in the world will I walk away with by the end of the chapter?!

Some of you know that I’ve traveled to Florida this week to spend time with my friend Laura as she and her family wait for her mom to transition from life to death at a hospice home. It was a no brainer to come, but who knew I’d be smack dab in the middle of a love fest!

This family loves on each other in good times, bad times, sad times, private times, and in the midst of company. I’m sitting in the living room at Laura’s computer. She and Jeff are just on the other side. Jeff’s massage Laura’s tense neck and sore back. She ‘s groaning with delight, and he’s saying sweet nothings to her. I feel like I’ve invaded a private moment, but I dare not move and remind them that I’m present.

So awesome to be able to witness this kind of love! Thanks for letting me be a fly on the wall.

I have accepted the challenge from Aletha McManama to read through the bible in a year. I have NEVER read through the entire bible; so, this will be great!

January 1, reading: 1Corinthians chapters 12-14.

What a great way to start this off by reading the “love” chapter.

The Greatest of these is love
First Corinthians, Chapter 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect;
but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.
So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Since 2008, I’ve been creating a theme and focused objectives instead of a list of resolutions. Thanks to Laura Allen and Sharon Day!  Click here to read the details – 2010 The Year of Absolute Yes.

In 2010, it was all about yes! Therefore, I had to say no to quite a few things, and, saying no is so very hard for me; thus, making 2010 a very tough year emotionally. Relationships were redefined, and some precious ones have even ended. Spending was curtailed to ensure that we get from under the debt as soon as possible. Huge sacrifices were made like I took on a part-time job for the last six months of the year to pay off a tax bill that appeared out of no where.

But then some really great things have happened too!
* I am an unashamed Christ follower! It was really hard to not be more vocal, and bold, about my faith as I watched time after time God literally pull us through a situation. There’s a lot I share in my blog, but not everything because some of it isn’t my stuff to share.
* By the grace of God, and the help of many friends holding me accountable, our debt bill has gone from $60,000 down to $20,000. I’ve truly learned the value of paying with cash, and living within my means. I’m still not 100% diligent about doing so, but I’m no longer spending in secret, and living in the condemnation of it all.
* With gifts from a friend, we were able to add a newer car to the family (welcome again, Kirk!).
* God in his kindness has seen fit to reunite me and my friend Thea. Thea and I were best friends for more than 16 years. We ended our friendship about 13 years ago over a variety of things that built up in our relationship that went without being spoken out of fear of losing a friend. It’s been awesome to have my friend back, and to work on having the hard (vulnerable) conversations that it takes to grow forever friends.

What a cool sag way into my theme for 2011. With all the changes that have gone on around, and in, me,  I must prepare the for the opportunities ahead of me. So, 2011 is the Year of Opportunity. I’m keeping my eyes open, as I have great expectations for 2011!

To my forever friend, Thea! I love you, and am glad you are back in my life.